4 + 5 = ?

by Bill Watterson

While lying on my back to make
An angel in the snow,

I saw a greenish craft appear!
A giant UFO!

A strange unearthly hum it made!
It hovered overhead!

And aliens were moving 'round
In view ports glowing red!

I tried to run for cover, but
A hook that they had low'r'd
Snagged me by my overcoat
And hoisted me aboard!

Even then, I tried to fight,
And though they numbered many,
I poked them in their compound eyes
And pulled on their antennae!

It was no use! They dragged me to
A platform, tied me up,
And wired to my cranium
A fiendish suction cup!

They turned it on and current coursed
Across my cerebullum,
Coaxing from my brain tissue
The things I wouldn't tell 'em!

All the math I ever learned,
The numbers and equations,
Were mechanic'ly removed
In brain-drain operations!

My escape was an adventure,
(I won't tell you what I did.)
Suffice to say, I cannot add,
So ask some other kid.